Part 2: Mandy’s “Not Your Usual” Fitness Story! :-)

The first part of my story was a wake up call for me in my late teens as to the unexpected challenges life can bring. And how scary that can be when you don’t have friends and family around to support you. I also went onto to share my own “not so usual” transformation story which led to me to becoming a personal fitness trainer…

(If you haven’t read part 1 yet … you can view it here)

What I’m about to share with you now is the NEXT part of my journey.

Obviously I can’t include ALL the details, but I can say that these particular THREE EVENTS that I’m going to impart in this email report, even with the good and the bad that occurred within them, have played a part in shaping who I am today and what I stand for. I’ll be including the first two events in today’s email and the third event in the subsequent email.

The first two woke me up to a very dark side of the fitness industry that I had no idea even existed. And the third… I’d NEVER imagined I’d find myself in this state of affairs. The way it came about was, and is, awful… but I couldn’t let thousands of people in my community continue to suffer from this $100 million dollar facility’s noxious emissions.

If you’ve been in these situations, or similar circumstances to this, you’ll totally relate to why and how it changed me…

So you already know that when I was younger I was naive and very gullible. I was bought up to always see the best in people, not to assume or judge, to always care for folk – even if they were awful to me. For the most part, this is a good thing… but when you’re not street smart… it can kinda backfire in a big way.

After making the decision to leave my home town, go through an emotional breakup with my partner and become a Personal Fitness Trainer… I absolutely felt this was my time to grow and be who I really wanted to be. I longed to be around folk who loved fitness, who were positive, were encouraging, were down to earth and enjoyed life.

Meeting new people and taking on new adventures would be my
new goal…

Which is exactly what I did. I had so many dreams and aspirations about the fitness industry. I loved helping people transform their bodies and reach their fitness goals. And my new career of working as a Personal Trainer was going great, but I knew I could be doing more… as I had ended up playing more of a management role / personal trainer due to staff cuts.

My friend had been offered a job and was moving to a small town, and asked me if I would like to go along… I figured, why not? This would be awesome. Apparently they had two gyms there. But only one hired Personal Trainers.

Off I went on this new expedition wondering if what Dad had told me about this town, when I was a kid that “it had God’s wrath upon it”, was really true. Thinking he was probably just joking or wanting me to be cautious.

This is where this particular journey starts and why I’m so passionate now about what I, and VFT, represent in regards to fitness.

I’d only been in this new town a few days when I went to the local gym. I walked in beaming. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to find out if they had any positions available. I was met by cold deathly stares from a group of girls (in their early 20′s and 30′s) having an intense discussion at the front desk. I figured I’d interrupted their conversation so I walked through to the gym, thinking the instructors or Manager would be in there.

The gym was virtually empty except for a few members that were complaining about some bad service they had experienced. The gym equipment was run down (bordering on dangerous) – I remember thinking it was odd at the time as this was promoted as a “high end” fitness facility.

There were no instructors in the gym so I went back to the reception desk to ask the girls if one of the head trainers or gym manager was available to speak with as I was looking for work. Except for one girl, the rest chorused they were the personal trainers, one being the head trainer, they made it very clear to me that there were NO positions available.

I cheerfully said “no worries”, and that “I’d come back in a couple of weeks and check again”. They seemed really upset. I remember thinking something awful / traumatic must’ve taken place… it was eerie. I felt sorry for them and hoped that they would be ok.

It didn’t occur to me that maybe I should’ve taken this as a
warning sign…

In between that time, I’d got myself a part-time job in fashion retail – which I loved. I’d also met new friends who told me the gym managers’ name and contact details. So I contacted him direct. The manager welcomed me: said they had a great team there, that he loved my energy and enthusiasm and wanted to know how soon I could start.

My first day at the gym was kind of awkward, but I figured that was just because I was new. I was super eager to take on my new role with passion, I was really looking forward to meeting my new clients, and what lay ahead… and I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt very fortunate.

But that was about to change…

Within a few weeks I found out FAST that I was very much UNWELCOME. The gym staff and members told me they had bets on me as to how long I would last. I wasn’t quite sure what they meant by that, so I took it in my stride.

Customers coming into the retail store (my other job) told me that the gym went through lots of female staff. They were leaving because they couldn’t take the bullying. It was a running joke. People would find out I was working at the gym and say “are you crazy, those girls are maniacs”!

It scared me but I still thought I needed to stick with it. I’m mean “really… surely they weren’t that awful… were they?”…

Unfortunately, as the weeks went by, I saw with my own eyes exactly what folk had warned me about.

The gym manager pretty much let these women “run the show”. Between problems with the gym in general, him partying all the time and his many relationship dramas he didn’t seem to really know what was going on… either that or just didn’t want to know.

The female staff at the gym would openly plot – at the reception desk – how they were going to “mess” with “so and so’s” job, life and relationship. And sure enough they’d do it – big time… and brag about it.

The nasty conversations they had about folk made my skin crawl, it was disturbing. Being a smaller town it seemed you couldn’t get away from their continuous toxic schemes… And their hit list of folk they didn’t like was extensive.

Going out for dinner or for a couple of drinks was near on impossible as these girls were always out and about drunk and abusing whoever they wanted to pick on. The violent threats they made to people were gruesome and sick… it was crazy that they were never arrested.

The weeks continued and after every incident of them harassing anyone, either in the gym or socially, they would run to management, staff, their friends, gym members (who ever they would come in touch with) and concoct wild awful stories about whoever was on their “hit list”. Most folk knew it wasn’t true but said they were too nervous to defend the people who were being bullied or maliciously gossiped about.

I saw members of the gym and other new or vulnerable staff being absolutely dragged through the mud by these bullying women. Considering these girls were known to follow through with their threats, their victims were terrified of them.

Seeing these poor people in tears on a regular basis from bullying – was normal there. These girls seemed to take considerable pleasure going out of their way hurting people and playing “God” with people lives. If you weren’t prepared to “join in with them” – then you were automatically on their “hate” list. I refused to get involved with them and so I was also one of the many folk getting harassed and abused.

It came to a head when I tried to speak with management about it in “confidence”. I was scared but felt I needed to stand up for myself and the others that were being bullied. It felt like the right thing to do. It was out of control and no one was doing anything about it…

BIG MISTAKE…!

The other main manager (there were several managers / business partners), who only visited once in a while, was furious accusing me of outright lying. He told me he had advised the bullying female staff members of my complaint and they denied all of it and said I was lying. “I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!”

These girls were standing at the reception desk laughing and mocking me while I was getting drilled by the manager. I begged him, with tears running down my face, saying that others were also in the same situation and were scared to speak up. We needed him to do something, to help us.

He got angrier with me because I wouldn’t give the victims names to him. I said I wasn’t comfortable doing that because I knew the bullying girls would make life more difficult for them. Anyway, he refused to believe that his “angels!” – as he called them – would ever behave like that.

It made no sense to me…

Why management weren’t doing anything about it, how could they turn their back on this and just pretend none of this was going on? The whole town knew about it! How could management not?

It was common knowledge their gym was experiencing financial issues and yet the managers and bullying female staff were running around blaming it on the folk in town with comments like “they should be lucky we keep this place running for them”, “they don’t know how lucky they are having a high end gym facility here”… etc etc.

Needless to say, nothing was done about it and the bullying for everyone got worse. And the gym became more run down.

Many of the staff that got bullied, left the gym or packed up and left town completely.

For many of them, the bullying they copped was way WORSE than mine! These girls were destroying people lives and people were genuinely scared of them.

I was a nervous wreck going to work each day. It was obvious that the gym management were turning a blind eye to the misconduct that was taking place. And it wasn’t going to change any time soon. So I resigned.

It was awful saying good-bye to my clients. I didn’t want to leave them. They all said “it’s not fair, everyone leaves”. I asked them why they didn’t leave – or didn’t at least stand up to these bullying staff members. I told them if more people got together and spoke up surely management would listen.

They said they couldn’t BECAUSE – WAIT FOR IT!!! – the gym members legal contract they had would cost them thousands to get out of, the gym made it extremely difficult for them legally to cancel their membership. So they just kept their mouths’ shut, and put up with having outrageous auto deductions taken from their bank accounts – not to mention the awful “politics” that went on in the gym – and just hoped each year it would change!

All I could think was “what a mess!” I was appalled that this gym was even allowed to operate! And as much as I was relieved to get the hell out of there… I felt so sad for the folk who felt like they were stuck.

The people at my retail job said to me “We told you so, we warned you about that place!”

I was still in shock! Gob smacked that this had all taken place. Sure I’d met some bitchy girls over the years – but these women had taken it to a whole other level. It gave me shivers up my spine. “Maybe Dad was right about the whole God’s wrath thing”…

I can say this though…

Three AWESOME things happened to me due to working at that gym…

1. I became best friends with one of the members that got harassed, lovely, lovely lady. Those girls put her through absolute hell! She was drop dead gorgeous, had a heart of gold and worked with abused children. It was because of her, I’m with my hubby.

2. Male fitness trainer, who only worked at the gym once in a while. I had no idea at the time, years later, he would become my hubby. I’d only spoken to him twice: once for 5 mins at the gym and sold him a pair of jeans at my retail job. Our paths didn’t cross again until my friend (mentioned above) “set us up” a couple of years later.

3. It really drove home to me how essential it is that folk stand up for each other, support each other, strive for a strong caring fitness community… and how important it is that staff, members – and people in general – should NEVER get ill-treated like this.

I had always envisioned my career within the fitness industry, and as a trainer, being surrounded by positive people who wanted the best for others and wanted to help their clients and each other achieve their fitness results – and their life goals. Leading by example and inspiring their clients… Not the opposite!

4. It made me wonder what on earth had happened in these girls lives to make them that bitter? Even though they had made me doubt myself, via their cruel behaviour, I was relieved that I had chosen to speak up.

That was my first real experience with seeing truly destructive behaviour like that in a gym – and the fitness industry. Of course, this can happen anywhere, and doesn’t just occur at gyms.

I remember thinking, I never want to be in that situation again – EVER.

A few years later…

When I left the gym mentioned in “event 1”, not too long after that I moved back to the big smoke. I started work at a large fitness center chain.

My boss was awesome.

In fact she was – and still is – the nicest boss I’ve ever had while being in the fitness industry.

She knew her stuff, was passionate, was a great leader, had empathy and had a massive impact on everyone there. She used to encourage and inspire us. She was someone that represented what I loved about the fitness industry. We all looked up to her and adored her like she was our “older sister”.

I was studying my butt off, taking on new courses, introducing new and innovative programs to my clients and the members – who were more than happy with the cool new workouts… and experiencing their new results. I poured my heart and soul into everything I did. We had a lot of fun – even though it was hard work. I had formed close friendships with all my clients and many of the members. I loved my job!

My friend had “re-introduced” me to this awesome guy, whom would later become my hubby. I moved in with some buddies I knew from my home town, they had their own band. Life was never dull. Plenty of laughs and crazy antics. In fact, life was great. I felt very lucky.

But that was about to change…

Unfortunately… Head Management, for whatever reason, transferred our “awesome Manager” to another gym. We were all shocked and devastated – no reason was given to us. We couldn’t believe it! We had come to rely on her so much. We even approached head Management to plead with them to not transfer her, as she meant so much to the staff and members at our gym. But she was moved on anyway.

We were promised that someone just as dynamic and wonderful as her would take her place.

That didn’t happen!

In fact, he came in behaving like an arrogant thug. One minute we had this fantastic, rockin, gym that had become like family to so many of us – we had a awesome positive community atmosphere going there – to within weeks… the whole place was just spiralling out of control.

We started getting shady people coming into work for the gym…

Complaints were being made about: dodgy deductions getting taken from members accounts, girls upset due to harassment, members were telling us that the crooked trainers were putting clients on prescription diet pills and vet steroids and were walking around with wads of cash in their pockets, trainers booking in false appointments and getting paid for them… just to name a few. I had a massive folder with all my course work and programs in it that I’d spent years working on. Dodgy trainers were helping themselves to them and charging clients astronomical fees for them.

“What the hell was happening to our beloved gym?” And “What the heck were head management thinking when they hired this new thug guy?”

Customers and Members started leaving – FAST!

A new gym had opened over the road so folk were just about running out the door to join there.

We (the staff) were pushed by the thug Manager to try and get customers to renew their memberships with our gym – even if they didn’t want too. I flatly REFUSED, which put me in the “bad books”. Heck, I didn’t like the joint… why on earth would I encourage someone to stay on in those conditions, especially when they were asking to leave.

The poor members would get hauled into the sales office, telling us later, that “sales” were being forceful with them and were angry they wouldn’t renew their memberships. And even after they did leave supposed “accidental” deductions would STILL get taken from members bank accounts.

“I was peeved!”

After being through “EVENT 1″ years before hand – I didn’t know if I was game to stand up to this thug manager.

But after having upset clients and fellow staff coming to me telling me what they were being put through… I figured I had to say something. I tried to keep out of it as much as I could. But it had gone too far. I was very protective of my clients and was disgusted that they were being treated like this.

After speaking up about it I got hauled into the thugs managers office.

Before this occurred the bullied staff, plus other staff who had had enough, said to me straight up: “if you speak up, Mandy, we’ll back you up all the way!”. Of course that didn’t occur. They all ran off. In fact, they were hiding behind the reception desk, pillars, around the corner of the thug managers office. I’m talking grown men and women! I was thinking “you’ve got to be kidding me!”

I took a deep breath, tried to compose myself – I was really nervous – and figured “I can’t back out now.”

The thug manager went off his face at me.

I said I thought he was behaving like a thug and that I didn’t like the way he treated staff or the members. He asked me very sarcastically how I would improve the fitness centre. I decided to take what he asked seriously and mentioned a list of things that I thought would help (the whole time my heart was racing, I was trying not to shake from anxiety, I felt like I was going to throw up)… he was furious!

Strangely enough, he slowly calmed down, we finished the conversation. I left his office with everyone outside whispering and gossiping about what had just taken place. Within days of this confrontation I had phone calls and messages from folk congratulating me for standing up to the thug boss. Even the new gym (over the road) had heard about it.

However…

The gym never improved. It got worse.

I asked to be transferred to the gym where the previous “awesome manager” was – as I refused to continue to work in a gym that I was ashamed to represent.

They agreed only if I worked in between both until my remaining clients had completed their PT contracts. Most of them only had a month or so left – so I agreed, as management wouldn’t allow me to train them at their other gym.

It was such a relief to be back under the “awesome manager” again. It made it very clear to me the MASSIVE impact that just one person can have on so many people. And that having someone who is genuine, caring, and was truly interested in the well-being of members and staff – like the “awesome manager” – could create such positive results all round.

Around this time my Grandfather and my beloved
“Girly” passed away.

I was devastated. (I won’t go into the details, because they are stories within themselves and I find it too hard to talk about without howling my eyes out). Needless to say, I fell to pieces. It felt like it was too much too handle at once – like a huge chunk of me had been torn out. I felt empty and numb one moment and emotional the next.

My last weeks at the thugs gym, him and his awful “lackey’s” continuously mocked and hurled insults at me for being upset – and because I had confronted him. Thankfully, my “awesome manager” was brilliant and compassionate… and organised for me to take a couple of weeks off work.

I was hurt, guttered in fact, and felt like I had when I was younger, vulnerable.

Even though I loved being, and was extremely grateful that I was, at the “awesome managers” gym virtually full time… I wasn’t happy any more. I was grieving. And everyone who came to the “awesome managers” gym wanted to re-hash the story of my confrontation of the thug manager. I was “over it”. And couldn’t wrap my head around everything that was going on in my life. I was pushing myself to continue to train – I knew it was important that I maintained my health as best I could. But I was struggling and doubting the whole fitness industry caper.

I was worried… I saw an awful pattern occurring…

This was the perfect example of what was wrong with the fitness industry. There were “bad apple” gyms and trainers out there giving fitness a bad name. And ruining what is supposed to be a positive fitness experience for folk who are wanting to transform their health, lives and bodies.

“Bad apple” gyms and trainers who’s mission seemed focused only on money and greed.

And if what was happening at “event 1 gym”and the “thug’s gym”, you can bet it was happening all over the place at different facility’s. People getting mistreated, receiving incorrect fitness and training advice, being ripped off and bullied.

My whole outlook on the fitness industry had changed.
I didn’t like what it seemed to represent.

And if it wasn’t for my “awesome manager” I think I would have quit completely.

There was talk of my “awesome manager” maybe getting moved elsewhere. She had a great reputation of taking gyms that were virtually failing to transforming them into incredible successful companies.

So I fulfilled my contracts with my clients and then resigned.

I was exhausted, and needed to re-think if personal training was actually something I wanted to continue with or not.

Shortly after that my “awesome manager” moved onto another fitness company. She’s still kicking butt now managing much larger fitness centres.

And the “thug manager”… Well apparently he got himself in more trouble…

Even though this sounds like another rotten situation to be in… It took me a while, but I learnt some valuable lessons…

You see, I decided if I was going to continue with PT, or not, I needed some inspiration. Sure, the “awesome manager” had given me plenty, but I knew I had to find it within myself.

I purchased a great PT manual from Phil Kaplan. It inspired me and reminded me why I was so passionate for personal training and how much I loved helping my clients transform their lives and bodies.

It made me determined to open up my own “at home studio” and do things the way I felt they should be done. Which I did. I even wrote to Phil Kaplan thanking him for writing that book. And received a lovely email back too.

Several years later… after providing both local clients – and clients that lived in different towns – PT programs via fax, email and snail mail – I decided to create Virtual Fitness Trainer.com.

It took me 18 months to write the content, do “techy” courses and figure out how to create Virtual Fitness Trainer.com – and back then there wasn’t the technology there is now. Far from it. But I was determined to offer the BEST personalised service I could online for my clients.

I couldn’t believe how far I’d come – or that I’d even figured all this internet stuff out! I was fulfilling my dreams of training my clients online and was really looking forward to helping as many people as I could. All the great stuff that I’d learnt from the industry from my “awesome manager”, Phil Kaplan and other great experiences, I was applying it to Virtual Fitness Trainer.com.

I wanted my clients to feel cared for, that they “belonged”, that they could enjoy and share their experiences with the VFT family of members… and that they knew I was going to work my tail off for them to help them achieve their fitness goals.

You’re probably thinking… what now?

And what’s this got to do with where you are now, Mandy… and what’s the next part of the story?

These TWO EVENTS aren’t just about awful gym experiences … it’s about what life throws at you. And overcoming obstacles. Whether they’re fitness and health related or not!

Sure they’ve led me on a journey that I had no idea I was going to be taking. And I was far from happy about it at the time. But there are some things in life that can’t be helped and you have to do the best you can get beyond them and grow.

I’m not going to get all airy fairy on you… but it’s important that you realise I’m not slamming the whole fitness industry, I’m showing you that these events gave me a super strong belief system about the importance of health, fitness and having the courage to stand up for what you feel is right… and why I don’t like BS!

These first two events – which may seem trivial or insignificant – without me even knowing it, helped prepare me for what was to come.

In my next email I’ll share with you “EVENT 3”.

When you see movies like Erin Brockavich – you think, holy cow, what a terrible situation to be in!

You never think you’ll find yourself in a similar situation. The suffering of so many people due to big companies putting themselves first, before the residents – isn’t just a once in a blue moon occurrence. It’s happening right under your nose and mine. But unless you’re affected by it first-hand you’ll probably never know about it.

This next struggle is personal – BIG TIME!

Effecting my family’s life, health and home – and 1000’s of others as well.

Talk to you in the next email…

Take care…
Mandy
VirtualFitnessTrainer.com
VFT – NO BS Fitness!

NOTE: for privacy reasons I’ve chosen not to name people, places, facilities, gyms etc… My story is about what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown from these experiences. I truly believe that people can change if they choose too. No one is perfect. I’m certainly not. And as much damage as people do when they’re being selfish (due to their own issues and obstacles in life)… and the adverse affects their behavior has on the people around them. They may be living different lives now, or in the future (hopefully learning from their mistakes)… like we all should do in our own lives.