Be Free To Be Yourself! Don't Let The "Fitness Fakeness" Crowd Intimidate You Or Your Fitness Goals!
The controversy over last week’s blog post and newsletter…
Keep the comments coming! (see comments url below)
Because it’s SUPER IMPORTANT that we talk about this.
I agree with Elsa, I don’t condone bullying of any kind. And Elsa ROCKS for posting in her point of view 
! Thanks Elsa!
(And so does everyone else who commented and emailed me)
- And you should feel free too as well.
- I want you too!
- No matter which side of the fence you sit on this issue.
You can share YOUR comments below…
I’ve stood at the gym, on many occasions, by someone’s side defending them when someone else is being awful to them because I refuse to stand by and let folk be ill-treated.
Here’s the thing… I’ve seen, and been, on both sides of the fence in regards to the abuse I’ve copped myself.
a. I know what it’s like to have folk give me grief because I choose to eat a certain way (healthier options)or because I look fit and I like to exercise.
b. AND I’ve also experienced bullying in gyms myself, from folk paying out, and verbally abusing me, because I wasn’t part of their “fitness fakeness” group. And so I totally understand why folk get so upset by it.
I don’t want folk being so badly affected by their experience at a gym and it’s peer pressure and bullying that they give up on their goals.
The reason I chose the topic, like I did, was because it’s been bought up so many times of late. And felt I needed to say something about it.
So jump in and have your say too!
Sharing and being open about this may just be the thing we need to help everyone have a better understanding and be more supportive of each other with our fitness goals and efforts!
You can read my responses and check out Elsa’s comment at the url below…
Take care, I’m looking forward to reading YOUR COMMENTS!
Mandy
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This is more of a personal post today… or even a rant
Anyway…
If you didn’t realise (Australian spelling) it already, one thing you’ll learn about me, and what VFT represents, is that I can’t stand BS and I don’t like bullies…
I’ve seen a lot of intimidation, bullying, peer pressure, and folk thinking they’re better than others and pushing others aside due to them not looking as fit or being as lean as them.
And I’ve certainly seen plenty of this within the fitness industry and fitness centers or gyms over the years… and it’s made me determined to be different.
This topic comes up OFTEN and it annoys the crap out of me that people have to tolerate this.
Here’s what I want you to know today…
I’m on your side!
Just because someone has 7% bodyfat and you have 25% (for example) it doesn’t make them any better than you. They have no right to judge you. Just because someone claims to look like a million bucks on the outside – it doesn’t mean that’s what’s taking place on the inside.
Yes, it’s vital that you look after your health…
And there’s nothing wrong with getting a kick in the butt here n there and even some tough love to keep us on track with our fitness goals – we all need that now and again – but whether it be women or men we need to support and help each other.
I’ve seen people give up on their fitness goals and let “fitness fakeness” intimidate them. Trying to get in with the “fitness fakeness” crowd (or trying to look like them) and not succeeding at it then feeling like a failure.
Here’s the thing, even if this crowd are rude to you or it’s just you thinking that’s the case because they’re too involved with their own group they can’t see beyond it…
You need to just say “stuff it” and get on with focusing on what being and feeling fit means to you – not them!
Improving your health and fitness, losing body fat, gaining lean muscle, getting into shape means various things to different people.
There’s a difference between looking lean and fit and being genuine about it. Maintaining a lean, fit body – with small percentages of bodyfat is damn hard yakka and is admirable for sure. I don’t deny that.
Look, I know awesome folk who are genuine and caring, who have knock out bodies and I only wish there were more folk like that to help nip the whole “fitness fakeness” in the bud.
But I also know plenty of rockin folk who aren’t as lean but still super fit but just don’t want to have to try to maintain that “pre-comp” style appearance.
Here’s the thing…
Make your fitness goals about what you want. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve more, or wanting to be leaner or fitter – but do it because it’s something that you feel is positive and will inspire you. Do it for you, do it because you want a better quality of life and health for you and your family.
DON’T DO IT to torture yourself to try and become part of the “fitness fakeness” crowd.
Because…
a. You deserve better than that.
b. You don’t need to waste time spinning around in circles getting frustrated
b. You rock – you’re special and you can totally kick butt in your own cool fitness way.
If you want a goal to aim for – make it to be a more inspired fitter leaner version of YOU – not someone else!
Take care… I’m with ya all the way!
Oh, and if you want to share your thoughts on this – then add your awesome and much appreciated comments below…
Take care
Mandy
VFT
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi, Mandy,
No doubt bullying must not be condoned, but what about the reverse side of the coin? What about the people who feel annoyed by your sheer existence just because you’re fit, try and sabotage your efforts by constantly implying you’re on the verge of an eating disorder because you eat healthily and take offence at any advice you try to give them about losing weight?
Hey Elsa
I hear ya!
I know what that is like myself. I’ve experienced it first-hand. And it’s horrible. There’s not much I haven’t heard said about me. 
I used to get really hurt by what folk said. And there’s times I still do, but for the most I choose to shrug it off.
Elsa, there’s two sides to each case isn’t there? You’ll get folk who are fit and genuine about their efforts and helping others and then others that use it as some kind of power play poking fun and being rude to folk who are struggling with their fitness goals – when they could be helping them instead.
Then on the opposite side you have folk who, due to just continually having a negative outlook, it could be jealousy or whatever just get peeved off at others doing well and getting into shape. And try to make them feel bad saying crappy stuff about or to them.
And then there are others that have been mistreated so often within fitness centres, by the fitness crowd bullies that are rude to folk, that are doing their best and would love for someone to reach out and give them some tips or make them feel welcome – but it doesn’t happen.
It’s a viscous cycle. And it sux. I’ve had MANY folk in my life over the years that tried to jeopardise (Aussie spelling) my fitness goals and efforts online as well.
I guess what I’m saying is it would be nice if we could all be more supportive of each other.
I feel for you, Elsa, because you don’t deserve to be treated like that.
Hugs to ya – and thanks heaps for commenting.
Mandy
VFT
Mandy, I’ve always found you to be a superb virtual trainer. You’ve always answered all my questions and been very helpful to me.
To my knowledge, I’ve never associated with the type of people you described, but if I ever meet them in the future, I probably won’t waste much of my time with them.
Hey Roger
Thanks so much, that’s so nice of you… always happy to help.
I haven’t really bought up this specific topic before on VFT’s blog, but I’d had so many folk discuss it with me I felt I needed to say something.
Take care and thanks for your feedback!
Kind regards
Mandy
VFT